Coming out is a near-universal queer experience. The coming-out story recurs again and again in queer cinema: it’s our version of the coming-of-age tale. But where the traditional narrative and reality diverge is at the assumption that coming out is something that only happens once in a lifetime.
In the movies, the quiet boy starts dating the football star or the misfit girl starts dating the cheerleader, everyone at school finds out, somebody tells the parents, and after some drama the whole experience is over. Television tells us that you can’t have a satisfactory same-sex relationship until everyone is out of the closet — take Dana on The L Word, Kevin’s actor boyfriend Chad on Brothers & Sisters, or David from Six Feet Under as examples.
But what happens after you leave home, and have to come out to your college roommate? Or your first boss? Or your second boss? For most of us, the process of coming out lasts our entire lives, and every new situation offers an opportunity to jump back into the closet.
